Half-Ass Is Better Than No-Ass

I posted earlier about not doing everything today. Well, that got me thinking. That’s why I write. MS kinda jumbles my brain, and writing helps everything fall into place. Anyway, my putting off philosophy got me thinking. The whole point of the mantra is to focus on just one part instead of the whole, so that at least that one part gets done. But what about when the one thing on your to-do list is just too much?

Confession. I have not mopped my floor in months. Disgusting, I know, I’ll run a vacuum over it to deal with the hair and obvious dirt. And I’ll run Sharkbait (my robot vacuum). But actually mopping? Yeah. Hasn’t happened. And as that one task is put off and put off…well, the floor gets dirtier and dirtier. And the dirtier the floor gets, the more the task looms into a big dark ball of doom!

Think of the logistics of mopping the floor, especially under the conditions my home has been in lately. It’s not just a simple ok, mop and done. First you have to clear the floor. All that clutter needs to find a home. Then, vacuum to get the majority of fur, hair, dirt, and whatever other grossness has been collecting. The vacuuming has to be followed by a proper sweep because everyone knows vacuums don’t completely get everything on hard floors. Then, and only then, are you ready to mop.

That’s FOUR tasks disguised as one! And when it’s a struggle to get one task done. Plus, they all have to be done at once. If you only do one or two of them, well, you have to start all over. Everything is going to get gross and cluttered again. And cue the cloud of dread rising and rolling. Getting darker and angrier each passing day.

But as with many things in life the solution is simple. I don’t know about you, but I tend to overcomplicate things. For example, when I was a dialysis tech, I was having a horrific time trying to get a needle to pull blood. I did everything I could to troubleshoot. I KNEW the needle was in proper position. I KNEW the lines weren’t clotted. I went on to check my machine, settings, pressure…everything I could think of to figure out why this dang needle wasn’t working. Finally, I had to concede defeat and called a coworker over to help. He took two seconds to look everything over and said, “Your lines are clamped.” Well aren’t I an idiot! Dialysis 101. Clamping and unclamping lines. Moral of the story: I was too busy trying to apply all of my technical knowledge to the problem, that I overlooked the very obvious problem.

So, how does that relate to my disgusting floors? The very simple solution was–drum roll please!--I didn’t have to mop the ENTIRE floor!!!! Gasp and clutch pearls! How can you only mop part of the floor? If you’re going to mop, do the whole thing! Nope! You tell that lying voice to pipe down. Who says you have to mop the whole floor? Are the mopping police going to show up and arrest you? I promise, if there were mopping police, they would have gotten to me a long time ago!

With my new-found realization that I could maybe not do the whole floor at once, I set to work. As a result, my kitchen and dining area floors are shiny, clean, and fresh. Woot, woot! Now, entry, living room, hall, bathroom….still disgusting. But this morning the entire floor was gross. So progress has been made. And as a bonus, my coffee station and microwave were also cleaned today, and I scrubbed my stovetop! (I’ll save the rant on the evils of glasstop stoves for another day.)

Now, I am taking a earned break to prop my feet up and write while calming music is playing in the background. I still have to do a load of laundry for the week, but no one’s gonna say I have to take it out of the dryer. I think I can handle that. If you have a task that’s too daunting, go ahead and half-ass it. And by that, I mean, split it into smaller steps. No rule saying you have to mop the whole floor. Mop your square, then join me in raising a glass to glorious half-assery!