If you didn't see the announcment on Facebook, I'm adopting an embryo this fall! You can read that story here. Welcome to the first post of my adoption series!
I was nearly two years into planning my adoption when I was diagnosed with MS. In a span of two weeks, my life changed drastically. Forever. I thought my dreams of motherhood had been dashed. I had no idea what the future would bring. How was I going to maintain my independant lifestyle with such a disease? How was I going to take care of myself if I became disabled? How could I take care of a child if I couldn't take care of myself?
These questions haunted me for about six months. I went back and forth through the stages of grief. I won't rehash that here. But eventually, I realized that I couldn't dwell on the future at the expense of the present. I can't live my life just sitting around waiting for the day I'm completely disabled. That's not living! Slowly, as I healed from the shock of my diagnosis, I began to continue planning my journey to motherhood.
My neurologist has been a huge source of information and support. I mentioned my plans to her one time, and she never fails to bring it up at every check in. She has answered my questions and calmed my fears at every turn. She even tried to reassure me that any biological child would have a very low chance of developing MS, despite my mother and sister sharing this illness with me. Thankfully, with my decision to adopt, it's a nonissue. We have gone over details of pregnancy. How my DMT will be managed during the TTC phases. (With both Tecfidera and now Kesimpta, she is comfortable with me continuing my normal schedule until I am positively pregnant.)
We have also discussed pregnancy management itself. How closely they would monitor me during. When do I let them know? And of course, the dreaded Post-partum Relapse! PPR is a major issue with MS. We've talked in general about ways to avoid it such as steriods in the days before and after delivery. And apparently breastfeeding also reduces the risk. We will be discussing and making more detailed plans once I'm pregnant and revising those plans as we see how my MS reacts during pregnancy.
With Embryo Adoption as my chosen avenue, I now needed to find out a place to facilitate the procedure. After researching online and joining a local Single Mom's by Choice group, I decided on a local clinic in Raleigh. Two things drew me to this place. First, everything is in-house. The embryos they have for adoption are embryos that were created for IVF patients of that same clinic. Because of this fact, I won't have to worry about transporting the embryo or myself. And at the same time, I'm making a difference in my community.
The second reason I chose this clinic is because of their reputation among the SMC community. Some places are not the friendliest toward single woman, just as some traditional adoption agencies are not open to single parents. This clinic, however, is very welcoming. And I'll be glad to not feel like I'm having to justify my decision at every turn.
When meeting with the doctors for the first time, I am careful to be very detailed in about my health and risks. Again, there was no questioning or judgement on my decision. The focus was on my health and risks, and the opinion of my neurologist. Even complete deference to my neurologist when it came to when to stop my Kesimpta injections. After a quick overview of everything else and a little Q&A on my part, we were done!
STEP ONE: COMPLETE!
I guess if there's anything I would stress to others in my situation, it would be communication. Make sure you are communicating with all of your providers, and make sure you are facilitating your providers communicating with each other. Even for a woman in excellent health, pregnancy is risky. Add to that a chronic illness with very real and known risks--It's kind of scary. But at the same time, I'm so excited and cannot wait to see what the future holds!
Keep following to stay up to date on my story. And if you are so moved, consider making a donation to my adoption fund! My future child and I thank you!
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